Getting held back

Life seems so hard to me, and I know I'm not the only one, But i take it in a different way, a different perspective;which puts me all alone.

A billion thoughts run through my head, and i mean every single day, I keep struggling with them, hoping they will leave; but they don't, they only stay.

I'm having problems facing this day-to-day life, and holding on to problems in the past, I just wish i could get on and let go, To be happy with my friends again,

I seem to exclude myself from everything, And it's not fair to them, and I just wish i could rewind the past and watch it over again,

See theres something i missed growing up, Something i didn't see since i was to young, i didn't see what everyone else saw, now it hurts me to know that my memories of my past are wrong,

I realized there was more to the tragic years then what i saw in my eyes, And the life i live now, passes me slowly before i die,

I skip moments i can have as i try to get the ones in my past (that i left behind) back, n I blame myself, it gets me off track.

I wonder why i shall live this life, I realize my friends keep me here, They Keep my wrist away from that knife; and only let me have tears

I wish i could have more fun in my life now then i let myself have, but because of my past life;
I'm getting held back.