Bleeding Scar

by Lauren   Jul 17, 2009


The words ripped straight from my mouth
Are dangled above my head as if bait.
Malicious words are daily exchanged.
The fury in my soul rises to a boiling hate.

My freedom and actions are self restricted
By the jail cell constricting the very thoughts in my mind
Building up tension to the edge of insanity,
I just can't leave my resentments behind.

The pain of existence has killed a piece of me.
Recklessness and stupidity I have befriended,
They're easier than the pain and hurt you nailed in my heart,
Which has turned into a bleeding scar unable to be mended.

The thoughts that run through my head make me question if I am sane.
Theres a ticking growing louder inside me,
It presses at the edges of my soul threatening to shatter the tattered remains,
I need to diffuse the bomb and stop from letting the explosion free.

In the process of finding a resolution I've become numb
I slowly die inside waiting for life's releasing defeat,
Spiraling out of control into an oblivion of darkness,
I wonder if anyone notices that this broken heart still beats.

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  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    "I just can't leave my resentments behind."

    ^^ This line was awesome. It brought the first seven lines together and tied them all so it made sense and offers a conclusion, if you like. The persona is so full of hate and disgust, which is evident through words like "ripped", "malicious" and "hate". This is when it becomes obvious that the persona is so full of hate and resentment and it's difficult for them to let go of those things.

    "I wonder if anyone notices that this broken heart still beats."

    ^^ The very last line makes the reader feel sorry for the persona. This is the first [and only] time that true sadness (instead of anger) has shone through. It shows that the persona isn't just an angry person; they're lonely and sad and just want somebody to notice the pain they're in.

    A very expressive piece. Thank you for the read.

  • 15 years ago

    by Esther

    You have a way with words, hard to narrow my liking in this poem down to a few lines, i did not dislike anything about this poem, the words flowed smoothly and naturally, it was obvious i think to me that this poem is beautifully written, i like the opening the best i think, the first two stanza's.

  • 15 years ago

    by Obscura

    This is a really good poem there was a lot of power and emotion in it the rythem is really smooth and well flowing and the structure is very well laid out within the poem a very impressive piece of work

    well done 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by DreamingOutLoud

    I like this poem; something I would write/read and enjoy it!! =) I like how you ended it; perfect!
    Keep writing

  • 15 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    OH YEAH!!! i forgot to add, I also loved the last stanza. It's so well written. 5.5

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