You'll See

Pent up-unknown experiences,
Blocked by pain that my mind was unable to store.
Rumor's of myself kept only by others with plastered smiles.

Rips in this foundation,
Crumbling with each new story built.
Those promises to help me have vanished.

Down the hall, down the street,
Across town, across the country...
All found in similar places.
A dark pit, an unheard fairy tale, a soul-less sermon.

Every sun lit corner within them where I would reside are closed off.
No entrance to the love of my family is open to one such as me.
I'd leave those rooms, those brightly untouchable corners...
If it weren't impossible.

Going crazy now,
Compose a face of false dignity.
Wipe my hands in front of there glazed eyes and cry to my pillow.
So long like this, I allow no help.
So long...

I'm leaving in spirit.

You'll see my laughter without being able to hear it.
I'll sing and yet the beauty will be hindered by a soundless prism,
A pyramid resonating the one you ignore,
And wonder if you long to hear the melody.

I'll walk through your door, breathe your suffocation,
And smile through false pretenses.
I'll fake joy to protect what you hide from yourself.

But the voice God gave me will not be waisted,
Not for anyone whose lost their love for me.
No more.

When you take my name and crush it,
Remember that the Lord holds no names.
When you shut me out,
You've blessed me with motivation to be better than that.
When you think you've finally beat me enough,
I'll ask for another blow.
And when your casket lays before me,
I'll kiss your cold cheek,
For it is no more frigid than it's always been.

I hold no grudges, I'm graced with forgiving.
I thank you for treating me unfairly,
For judging me as though you are who I pray to,
For raping me of the innocence of thinking that this world is just.

I'll love you just the same,
Because your talk has kept me walking on my own,
And now I'm running...

Faster than I ever thought I could.

In your dead souls memory I'll carry on,
And bring your true efforts with me.
You will not hear me, but you'll watch...

You'll see.