I have to agree with LNP. It was a nice write, yet it didn't capture me into what it was supposed to.

Prey not Pray There are so many dark poems that cover vampires or the living dead on this site, don't know what the fascination is myself, life has always been my kick. This is not one of the best I have read but don't be deterred, re-read what you have written and perhaps you can get the meter and flow which is missing from this verse. Ray S will not score this till you edit.