I miss you

by Candy   Jul 21, 2009


I miss you so much it hurts
its my fault your gone and hers
i miss your warm embrace, your smile that always made me think straight, your cute free like attitude i just miss you. i thought i was doing the right thing, i thought it was what i wanted but as i sit here i realize i need you near. i want you as my friend and it hurts that you love her still and probably always think bout her when i think bout u all the time. i asked you do you want to be friends again and you don't answer. i miss you

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  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This was a good start but I would work on giving out more images and feelings for the reader to think upon. Describe in more detail exactly what you miss, your words did not captivate me.

    Also, I would go over your poem again and place punctuation in certain places and correct some of the grammar. example: "i" should be "I".

    But I do think this poem could improve, though like I said, it was a good start, it just needs a bit more.

    God bless and Merry Christmas!

    ~MaryAnne

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