Unspeakable

Everywhere I go, it always follow me
Reminiscence of the past sinks my heart deeper and deeper
Is there anything else I can do ? Can someone tell me ?
Catching my breath after exhausting exercises makes it even clearer

Already I know, it will haunt me for the rest of my life
I feel this ceaseless pain in my chest
Similar to being stabbed repeatedly by sharp knife
The more I try to avoid the thoughts, the more I am trapped in this inescapable nest

It got me start writing poems like these, attempting to use rhymes to hide my sorrow
Lost in endless confusion, my sky changes constantly
Like the unpredictable weather of tomorrow
Yellow, gray, blue, red, color changes so readily

Outnumbered by predators, there is nothing else I can do but to pray to the Lord above
Upside down, such is my world, the key to my heart is four missing letters that is unspoken of