Parallel

'Sometimes,
when the wind eases
-I fumble.-
Incandescent
are your eyes
imprinting the
sunrise in mine. '
`This was just a breathtaking stanza, your words are truly beautiful.

'I've,'
`I dont think the comma is necessary?

'I've,
collapsed while
you've held
bees within your palm.
-Hypersensitive-'
`I'm almost positive by saying 'bees within your palm' you mean something totally different, a metaphor that I do not see! This really made me think. :]

'into each others arms.
-Parallel-'
`Very strong ending. I loved how you used your title to end it.. it was perfect!

A wonderful write, I can't believe I didn't read this the week that it won, but wow is it ever deserving of that win. :]

An interesting write indeed! I like how you
have described two personalities with vivid
imagery..very very well done! Congrats on
the win :)

Mel, I vow and declare how do you do it? Your work is far beyond your years and the words you use are amazing. Wow. 5/5

"Sometimes,
when the wind eases
-I fumble.-"

I loved the style/format in which you wrote this in, it was easy to read and added much to the poem. Great opening lines, this had me reading on and I loved how you expressed yourself.

"Incandescent
are your eyes
imprinting the
sunrise in mine."

Beautiful imagery here, although these are just few words, you have said so much and created a scene so real. Your creativity really shines here, great work Mel!

"You are,
only stable when
upon the edge of cliffs."

Loved the description here, very unique.

"Concentrated,
as you tempt height.
-Temerarious-"

The wording here is strong, great vocabulary used.

"I've,
collapsed while
you've held
bees within your palm.
-Hypersensitive-
do you try and
terminate a heart?"

Wow, this just took my breath away, what meaning is held here.

"Yet still you love."

This line, although standing alone, was strong by itself

"We are,
a rose stem attached
with thorns,
Guided only by
tornado lives;
into each others arms.
-Parallel-"

Wow, what a stunning picture you have created. 5/5 from me, I am adding this on my favorites. You have such a unique style and this was very fresh.

Congrats on the win, you sure deserved it!
I hope there are more commenters on this lovely masterpiece.

Take care!

~MaryAnne

I love the word choice and the imagery. A beautiful piece.