Eternal Life

by Jasmine   Jul 22, 2009


Eternal life isn't that what we want,
To live forever.

We never want to die,
But when something dark and evil
Gives you eternal life like a gift.

Will you take it and if you do,
Why...want do u want,
Yeah you live forever
But you see your love and family die.

Now you ask yourself,
Why did I take this life,
And ask for death.

But now it just to late,
And hear you live forever
With no one to share it with.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    My only suggestion would be to work on the structure of this poem....sometimes you had line breaks when the thought still continued, that is the only thing I noticed.

    Not sure I liked the "yeah" in this piece- it didn't add any extra emphasis...but questioning "why" does. It shows: are you willing to move on and leave behind those you love?

    Good points though- we can't always think eternal life would be the greatest gift. it isn't natural, what would we gain?

    Please keep writing.
    God's blessings on you!

  • 14 years ago

    by East Poetry

    This is very true... and topic that I have pondered a great deal.

    Am I going to live forever... as in after I die
    and my spirit moves on.

    Do we live for ever?

    I actually hope so..

    thing is... if we dont..... would we know it???

  • 14 years ago

    by Loveless Dreamer

    Im speechless....this is exactly wat i think. very good job sweetie. 5/5

    *Val

  • 15 years ago

    by Em

    I like the way you write your thoughts in poetry. It's better to die than to watch your loved ones die but they would have to watch us die. I don't know which I'd deal with more because either way I'd be leaving them. Well written, 5/5. Em

  • 15 years ago

    by Moon

    You got really a great way of thinkin and presentin ur thoughts in ur poems ! ;)

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