Reborn

Wow wow wow ur good

I liked the parts of your verses that can be removed from your poem. These little add-in's allowed the reader a deeper insight to the one seeking death. To me this was I great poem in progress. I say this becaues it's still seems that it has a long eat to go before it's finished and then it will be amazing.

By long way to go I mean details. And some detail, make it longer. ( Jazz it up a bit that's all.

Wow-this is fantastic-very dark, deep and i love the stle-although you use it quite often. i dont thik i can fault this poem actually-i cant even provide CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.....

all ima say is that i love it and that ima give it a definate 5 =)

sorry i couldnt say more haha.

aish
xx

I liked the vocabulary a lot here. It worked really well and you definitly know your words. The one thing that was a little off for me was the first two lines in each stanza. The emotion was there it just seemed a bit repetitive.

Great piece you have penned. Loved the imagery and word choices.
Excellent!
Take care
Cindy