Forget God's word I used to preach

I bear the pain so silent at heart,
Yet never dare speak...
A living corpse is all that breathes,
But it neither whispers nor utters any sound.

No dreams nor passion burn from within,
Empty feelings of remorse but surround.
Engulfed by all the pain that you gave,
Wherein shall I now plead my worth?

You made it so very clear that I'm but a worthless being,
Neither deserving of life nor any other thing.
How shall I now carry these pieces and walk along with hopes?
When all that I had are no crushed and I feel so alone.

Could you have at least spared me my life,
And not destroyed my inner force that kept me alive?
Could you not have said those words,
That pierce my heart now day and night?

And yet everyone around continues to wonder why in silence I now reside,
I'd rather the pain eat me alive than live in the trust of any other,
That shall but burn fresh new wounds upon my soul,
And adorn me with clouded darkness and worthless feelings.

Neither do I care now nor do I crave for anything.
Living but breathing for what - I now ask
Neither can one erase these memories nor can they take this pain away,
These tears still fall even faster than before - an avalanche of pain restored.

I'll keep within my heart every wound so fresh,
Live but forcefully only to detest.
I shall not speak a word of my grief nor shall I dare but teach,
Silence will be all that is know as I "forget God's word I used to preach".