Comments : Confused

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "So confused but you seem to always make it better"

    Try to add more emotion to this piece, and make it more creative. Try this:

    "I am always so confused, but each day you seem to make it better".

    "Wouldn't have it any other way and thats why I'm writing you this letter"

    Place "I" before "wouldn't"..

    "thats" should be "that's".

    "I love when you wrap my hair around your fingers"

    I smiled at this part, this was very cute.

    "The butterflies in my heart always linger"

    Great word to use, "linger".

    "Loving you seems to be the right thing
    But then again I'm only 15"

    I liked how you told your age here, that gave the reader a clearer idea.

    "So many things that were left unsaid
    I just can't seem to get the image of you from my head"

    Good ending, the rhyming was fresh.

    I do think you could elaborate more on how you feel, and what she feels possibly. Just be more descriptive, and create more scenes and imagery for the reader to picture.

    4/5 from me, take care.

    ~MaryAnne

  • 15 years ago

    by Grunge Angel

    The way I am reading this,..a very classic piece of poetry that takes the reader with you. I'm sure a lot of people have been confused or intimidated by love or the person you are trying to love. Makes it very easy to relate to. You also presented your age, which would also make it easier for the reader to identify with your poem. Great job!