Firefly

This was a very inspirational piece.

"Firefly light up the sky
and light the path ahead,
this path I'm on is getting old
there's wars in which I bled."

^^ This takes us into the persona's past - the 'wars in which [persona] bled' shows they've been through heartache, though is quite moving in that there's a strong sense of wanting to move forward.

"I've got nothing to lose."

^^ This line once again reiterates that the person has a past. Possibly they've lost so much that there is nothing less, so they're now willing to take chances and try again.

The ending was interesting and efficient. "Firefly" has shown the persona the way and now they must go on alone, proving that they can do it - and showing that it's okay to have a little help.

A refreshing read. :)

Interesting use of the 'firefly' in this context. To know that something so small could created light, a force so beautiful, so powerful granting hope in the midst of the darkness. Good metaphor. Great poem.

"Firefly light up the sky
and light the path ahead,
this path I'm on is getting old
there's wars in which I bled."

The whole concept of this piece is really unique and inspiring, nice work.

In the second line: I didn't like the repeat of "light", maybe use a synonym?

Fourth line: The way you worded this sounded awkward to me, maybe just re-word it.

"No more lies to be told
I'll speak just how I feel,
and hopefully in time to come
my mind will slowly heal."

Great flow here and rhyming. Very hopeful words that will come true.

"Firefly light up the path
and show me where to go,
for I got lost along the way
and I need you to glow."

I loved this, its so creative and is very catchy.

"I'm not sure which path to take
there's more than one to choose,
light the way, I'll follow you
I've got nothing to lose."

I did not like the repeat of "path" and "light" so much but otherwise, well-expressed thoughts and dreams.

"Firefly light up the path
it's dark and dreary now,
with your help, I'll find a way
your help I will allow.
Now it's time to make a choice
and choose a path to travel,
will the path be smooth and paved?
Or will it be rocks and gravel?"

Great work here, I do like the rhyming, it adds a nice touch. I like also how you asked those two questions at the end, nice work.

"Firefly you lit a path
I hope it's the right choice,
now its time to walk the trail
and maybe use my voice."

In the last line: I think it would sound and read better if changed to this:

"and use my own voice."

Otherwise, the ending was beautiful. I enjoyed this piece, it was very different.

4/5 from me, you repeated a lot of words, and there could have been more imagery and descriptions.

~MaryAnne

I love it! i like your use of the firefly...lighting up life's path...unique. =]