Look into my eyes

by Countess of Monte Cristo   Jul 31, 2009


Hug me like you are the shelter from the storm.
The one that is raging inside my chest.
The blood is rushing through your veins.. you're warm.
I cannot resist you, my case will rest.

Kiss me, and taste the dreams on the tip of my lips,,
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see there.
If they don't tell you how much i desire you.
Then i don't think you ever cared.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    Very powerful and somewhat beautiful. 5/5, Em

  • 15 years ago

    by mandy

    The description and emotions in the poem were very well written.

    One thing you could work on is your flow.
    I see you enjoy rhyming, so here is a little tip:

    Write all your emtions down, and then after, arrange them into a steady flow pattern. Also, writting with the same amount of sylables in a stanza is very effective as well.

    "I love to dance (4)
    I love to sing (4)
    come and get up (4)
    lets shake that thing!" (4)

    Anyways, that's it. Just a couple of things you might want to look at. Other then that, I really enjoyed the poem. You have a very unique way of putting things. Great write!

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