Closing my eyes I try to breathe,
calmly in and out again
but the tears still spill down my cheeks
just as swiftly as before
and the pain is just as strong.
Trying to get under control again,
scared to let the pain out to much
in case I can't stop the tears again
and the pain won't go back in it's box,
scared it'll overtake me.
Praying for just a little relief,
a reprieve from the blinding pain
that I feel boiling in my heart
and consuming my entire being
that being without you has caused.
Finally letting the tears run free
I turn my face towards the stars
and look out my window sadly
dreaming of a different place and time
where you and I can be together.
Tired of standing this alone,
tired of just seeing myself in the mirror
and it's only my voice that I hear late at night
when I wake up with fresh tears
and fear crowding me so I can't think.
Hugging my pillow a little closer
I tell myself I'm fine,
roll over and pretend I'm ok,
hugging a stuffed bear tightly
I pretend it's you I'm holding.
I look at the table beside my bed
and see the picture with you smiling at me,
your eyes lit up and warm,
I close my eyes and take a breath
and imagine that you're laying beside me.
