'I'm sick of this laid back act'
`Laid-back should have a hyphen.
'we both know things
will never be the same.'
`'Things' is too vague here, it could mean many things. Although it's easy to infer here that you mean your feelings will never be the same. I still think you could change things though, because its too vague.
'You try to blend black
with white, but you're
shocked when you get gray.'
`This was interesting makes me wonder why this line was put in here.
'I'm sorry but I can't
change the colors, I can't
be a different way.'
`Well done with this, it expresses inner feelings. You should never change yourself for someone to make everything better, and I'm glad you realize that.
'I will always be this
in need of a hero girl
every painful day.'
`A comma or dash would work nice after 'girl' in my opinion.
'We can play with this
fire and hope we don't
get a burn.'
`Maybe say 'we don't get burned' or something - that may sound better. 'Get a burn' seems a little awkwardish.
'I tried to forget, the way
your lips tickle my neck
but my body still yearns.'
`Your body still yearns... what?
'You keep hurting me
expecting me to come back,
why don't you ever learn?'
`Loved the question.
'I'm out of suggestions
for this relationship
and how to make it through.'
`Such sad lines, but its a fact of life. Sometimes relationships just near their end & theres no way to resolve anything, no suggestions to repair it.
'I just want you to say one thing...
say you hate me..
because I do.'
`Aww. This was really heartbreaking. Noone should ever hate themselves.
What a sad write, full of emotion. Just the suggestions I mentioned, otherwise a good write. =J
"I just want you to say one thing...
say you hate me..
because I do."
I just love the ending to this poem, I could actually relate to this poem quite well. And whilst it's so hard to let someone love you, if you don't love yourself. You won't believe any compliments they say. Great poem =] 5/5