Comments : For My Parents

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'I never told you I could be perfect
    I never knew you thought I could be
    I'm just a plain old girl
    But you want so much more of me.'
    `A strong opening of feelings, I thought the last line was a bit awkard. Maybe reword and say.. 'But you expect so much more of me' - that may be a bit long, but I think carries the message you want to get across better. I'm sure it is so hard to live in a family where you parents expect you to more than you are. Like they want you to change yourself to fit their wishes.. which isnt right. None of us are perfect and will never be perfect.

    'I can't climb the midnight stars
    Or outshine the mid-day sun
    I'm just another accident
    With no where to run.'
    `I loved this stanza, because it proves to your parents [those you are directing this poem to] that you cant do the impossible. You arent this magical person who can do everything in the world. Some great examples here.

    'I tried to be everything you asked for
    But I guess trying made me fall short.
    I'm just a bleak piece of glass
    Nothing like a diamond, I have no worth.'
    `This stanza is soo sad, all of your words are in this write. I think thats so sad how someones' parents would expect so much out of them and make them feel so worthless because they couldnt be what their parents wanted them to be. I didnt really like your metaphor, it didtn work really; diamonds are very precious and can be very expensive, so saying you are like a diamond, and worth nothing doesnt really fit what diamonds are to some. I think a different metaphor would work better here.

    'I failed at being a good child.
    I just wanted to make you proud.
    I'm just a disgrace to you
    I won't be here long, I'm on my way out.'
    `So sad.. it gives me goosebumps. You can almost see tears falling down the writers cheek as they write this.. its full of sadness. Of course we always want to make our parents proud, but we should do whats best for us, be who we are, and not live for anyone but ourselves.

    'I found your favorite set of knives
    Hoping to get them nice and clean
    I used my arms as a cutting board
    I hope this makes you proud of me.'
    `I have never heard the phrase of using your arms as a cutting board, I really liked that although it was so sad that someone's parents influence on them made them cut because they felt so terrible about themselves.

    'I love you mom and dad
    I just want you to know
    That I'm doing this just for you
    So keep letting me go.'
    `Wow, I'm not sure what to say to this one.

    I hope this poem isnt true.. it would be extremely sad if it was. But if it is you know where to find me if you need to talk.

    A good work of releasing what you feel.

    :J

  • 15 years ago

    by Hollow Emotion

    This poem was awesome!! I has sooooo much emotion. It actually left me speechless. its sad that parents can actually make their own children feel this way, but a lot of people think their parents are out get them. I know i used to think that way, lol. sometimes i still do... but i know theyre not.

    Any who, i really like this poem... GREAT JOB NIK!!!