Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you. I have been finding real passion with Daniel and he is so nice. But, I knew you would not approve of him because of all his piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that he is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom, I'm pregnant.
Daniel said that we will be very happy. He owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.We share a dream of having many more children. Daniel has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Daniel can get better. He deserves it.
Don't worry Mom. I'm 16 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Daughter Kemmy
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I do, however, like this guy but he is really nice! His name is Spencer and he goes to my school, he is even in my lab. Don't freak out! I am smarter than you will ever imagine me being. : )
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