I Am Beautiful

by Lady Nik   Aug 14, 2009


I look in the mirror...
my naked body bleak
against the red specks
of blood covering my
skin...I had to do this.

I just wanted one last look
at this sickening sight...
black curly locks,
misshapen eyes,
big cheeks,
wide neck,
over sized breasts,
razor sliced arms,
fat lumpy stomach,
thick thighs...
too much flesh.

I felt unbalanced
hidden beneath so much
dark meat.

Can you even see the real me?

I watched fresh tears
wash away black eyeliner
and blue eyeshadow
as my blue blood turned
a ruby red...amazing what oxygen
can do to blood...

I sat on the floor
and watched this color show
happen all over my body...
I see why people say red is my color
they were right...I had to be
completely drenched in it
to get the full effect...

Sitting here as my body goes limp
I remember the first time my
mother called me fat...
seems like it was only hours ago--
probably was...I can't remember now.
The pictures in my head
are so fuzzy now...now that I can't feel
my legs...

Was I standing?

I wipe my make-up tainted face
and grab the bathroom tub for support
as I try to stand. I walk over and flip
the light switch...turn to face the mirror
and I smile.

I can finally say this knowing I have
minutes left.

I look at the mirror and watch no one
stare back at me and I whisper....

I am beautiful.

*For a club contest about my insecurities. Sorry it's so long*

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    This one. :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Ken

    I cant really express in words how I feel about this poem it is very deep and emotional. the last three lines "I look at the mirror and watch no one
    stare back at me and I whisper....
    I am beautiful." keep repeating in my head. great job Nik.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    A very sad poem of immense volume yet it carried your message excellently. Being of an older generation I don't or can't understand the idea of disfigurement or cutting ones self, yet I after reading a lot of poems that call it to my attention am getting the drift of sadness, disillusionment and despair which brings it about not to mention abuse and disappointment, Your poem seems a bit more terminal to all I have read yet never apologise for such a great verse its length though long was necessary to get all your thoughts together.
    5/5 Ray S

  • 15 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    Too much flesh.
    -- I love love loved this line. I don't know why. <.<

    I see why people say red is my color
    they were right...I had to be
    completely drenched in it
    to get the full effect...
    -- Omg. I love this.. o.O I really wasn't expecting to love this as much as I am.

    Wow.This whole poem was amazing. I'm sure you're absolutely beautiful though. I understand how that's hard to see. Great job!

    Cayce

  • 15 years ago

    by mandy

    Very beautiful and so, so sad. Amazing emotions, relatable to many.

    I enjoyed the length as well as the format of the poem. the flow was flawless too. Very neatly written. 5/5

    mandy :)

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