Hello Oblivion

'A shadow's cast on barren land
of nothing but this crimson sand,'
^To me this was a good opening just one minor thing.. crimson sand, was really good but I think crimson is a bit overused..however on a better note, that was unique because you dont hear crimson sand like ever; its always about tears tears tears.. so good job!

'with winds that howl, bearing sorrow,
with no hope of a better tomorrow.'
^This was sad, simply said.. how theres no hope that tomorrow will be a better day. ):

'Broken limbs are cast aside'
^Try using a different word rather than cast here--you used it above. I think you are going for the idea of something be set aside.. right? Try something better than that though.

'If only someone cared for them,
so they wouldn't be condemned.'
^To me I dont think you need so here, it flows better without it and so is just one of those words I personally dont believe should be used in poetry it just doesnt fit.

'This place is hollow; just a shell.'
^A very good metaphor here.

'Hello oblivion, the place I hide,'
^I really loved the description of this place and at the last stanza you give it a name. This line really is a great beginning to an ending stanza.. couldnt have said it any better myself.

A great ending, with sadness.. but well written. Lately I really have enjoyed your poems. They are all original and hold such great emotion and feeling. I think you are growing as a poet very nicely! Keep it up.. you are doing very well!

Jenny,

Well written poem and one many people will be able to recognize themselves in.
I loved the wording, especially the part about the broken limbs being cast aside...beautiful imagery in your wording.

Hello oblivion, the place I hide,
where I can feel nothing inside.
A location to most unknown,
but not to me, another drone.

^^

I do not agree with these words, for I feel a lot of people seek oblivion on purpose by slowly killing themselves with drugs/ alcohol abuse. There is so much suffering in this world, girl.......and a lot of it goes unnoticed, until a name appears in the obituaries..

Well done:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Wow i love the way you worded it and the image i got from reading it keep writing