Sometimes..

Sometimes I don't know what to do,

Sometimes I don't know what to feel.

This hurt, this pain is surrounding me,

I can't help but lose control.

This hole at the pit of my stomach,

This feeling hid down deep below.

I'm losing myself to all these tears,

I can't go on like this much longer.

Need something to help keep me strong,

Can't control any of these feelings.

Can't help but want to let go.

I need this more than anything,

But sometimes it's too much to bear.

Can't keep going on like this,

Can't help but dwell in sadness.

This life is too much for me,

Can't live in a world of self-doubt and despair.

Need, wanting to be loved,

By something not quite close enough to touch.

Doesn't want to be here anymore,

Doesn't want to feel the cut.

The cut of something not physically there,

Feel the cut of a deep redemption.

Can't let them in any longer,

Can't let them get too close.

Can't bear this lingering within me,

The need to let it all out.

Stuck in a lose-lose situation,

Hurting more than ever now.

Trying to hold it all in,

Forcing it not to come out.

Needing to lose myself in something,

Holding out on this pain.

Needing to cut it away,

Needing to watch the bleeding.

But at this time resisting,

Resisting the need of the release.

Trying to be strong throughout this all,

While mourning the mental loss of a loved one.

Still deciding on my fate,

I decided to hold on a tad bit longer