The darkness comforts me
sooths my eyes
the light only blinds me
with all of it's lies

*I like this. Some things I would change is the second line. I would make it "soothes my heavy eyes" That way we see what't being soothed. and the last line the its doesn't need an apostrophe.*

shadows of silence call my name
they go quietly, just as they came
cool shade and fear of light
question what's wrong and right

*I liked this stanza alot. It gave me a creepy feeling like I'm being watched.*

i cannot hide what is in my soul
a black empty pit, what is the toll
to lead such unworthy demise
i can't break free, my hands are tied

*Flawless :) the words you used here really paint a sad picture for me. I loved this stanza.*

silent grin on all their faces
lead my mind to many places
to fear the light and hide in the shade
are consequences i have weighed

*The second line was my favorite!!!! I love the way you describe your insanity. This was really good Ben :) Keep it up :) Nik*

Awsome poem angel, some lines seem a lil off to me but others are powerful, i love your wording and the way you describe things.

a very well writ poem and an excellent read.

IBE
X

Wow this is really good. Its very intense and descriptive. Although, like the above comment, i think some lines might be a bit off...but apart from that you've done an excellent job. Keep it up.

Great Job, I love your Vocab. yeah what they said too. haha
Great poem(:

You are a FANTASTIC writer. I have a feeling I'm going to be reading much of your work!

I really admire your style.

The very last stanza was my favorite. Your word choice is very strong and interesting.

Keep up the great work.
5/5, well deserved.

-me