Scared. Very Scared.

I am more your traditional poet type person but I read your poem three times and each time it got better and became more mind opening, I wish I could say it was my cup of tea but it is not that does not mean I did not admire its emotion and feeling as it certainly had all a good poem should contain and you have every right to be proud of it. There are a few mistakes Michael had pointed out most of what I recognised in his comments sometimes I wish my poetry could run like yours does as if there is a background tune pulling it along and it gives it strength pace and meter making it special. Truly a memorable poem that drew me in and won me over excellent Ray S.

I am more your traditional poet type person but I read your poem three times and each time it got better and became more mind opening, I wish I could say it was my cup of tea but it is not that does not mean I did not admire its emotion and feeling as it certainly had all a good poem should contain and you have every right to be proud of it. There are a few mistakes Michael had pointed out most of what I recognised in his comments sometimes I wish my poetry could run like yours does as if there is a background tune pulling it along and it gives it strength pace and meter making it special. Truly a memorable poem that drew me in and won me over excellent Ray S.

By Braeden Monks

I'm awake and i shouldn't be,
The only one left in world who is.
I'm afraid and i shouldn't be,
I feel like the only one.

How times can i stress the issue,
That we're lost, what to do.
I'm burning down that building tonight,
I wanna attack, I wanna win this fight.

unless time is personified thatat line should read how many times can i stress the issue

I know i can't be the only one here,
who's anger is slowly becoming fear.
When i die i'll miss you my dear,
But i'm gonna have this one last beer.

love the four line rhyme here. The rhythm hold each together

Yesterday they asked me to join in,
but now the reject my ideas as sin.
Where can i rest? where can we go?
I'm lost and i really dont know.

I was thinking of running north,
i was hoping of going maybe south.
I decided to run west,
but home is calling me east.

I miss the salad days of ignorance,
I miss the pity acts of defyances.
Where did your soul go?
do you have a clue? do you know?

They knocked on his door last night,
as they beat him he bit his lip.
They kicked in another door tonight,
he bled for years and bit his lip.

Why can't we live like trees?
in complete happiness, blissful apathy.
Trying their hardest to reach their love,
Fly away with me and this peace dove.

Can we get away from their anger?
It rubs off to easy on the rest of us.
We hurt everyone whos not the same,
where are our morals? not on this bus.

We could stop don't you know?
run to a place they wont go.
destory our system of hate,
lets do it tonight it'll be a date.

But as the paid fascist come to kill,
The last words i'll ever will.
Will be a sentence i've practise like no other,
"I love you, I love big bother."

Very lyrical and deep . I enjoyed reading it