I tried as hard as i could. but sometimes the foul words just never leave. maybe i cut a bit too deep. the blood flows, and my skin burns with pain. how can one look me in the eyes and lie to me. hidden under my clothes, these scars are permanent. it's the only way i know to rid myself of the pain. i should have never allowed myself to care for another. tomorrow is another day. who knows what it will bring. more pain, confusion, or just continuous turmoil. yes there is a method to my madness. as wicked as my ways are interpreted they are all i know. now all is done. i am not happy, this is not at all bliss. never so much cared for another as i did for this one. my mind says get out as fast as i can. nothing last forever. i cannot say if this is the way i am supposed to handle things, but this is all i know. how do you change a mindset that you are born with. maybe before i allow myself to be happy, i choose to be miserable. no one knows me. no one ever will. i have a unique ability to bounce back. this one may take a bit. as strong as i know that i am. a broken heart may be a bit more intense than i imagined it would be. i am weary of every word that is spoken to me. i wish i could try to be more trusting, but it doesn't seem to possible. apologies for all the pain i caused another. but the pain i put myself through on a daily basis is so much worse. i didn't chose to be born, or to live this life that i live, but i must. each day i wake is utter disappointment. just wanting eternal sleep, and never getting it is suffering enough. i just want to sleep, and not wake. but i do............every day. so this is too let you know that you cannot love someone like me. i can't even cry. what kind of human being can't cry? the kind that you are better off without
