"Yet you carve thoughts
upon my chambers
like Hieroglyphs
portraying a story."

I think it is the last line of this stanza that I don't really enjoy, maybe a word other than story, I already assume the telling of a story with the word Hieroglyph.

"and satisfy hearts strings
like moth to thy flame
while licking the lips
of emotional desire."

Here I am shaky on the opening line, but I love the last 3 and the passion that seems hidden behind the words.

Overall I thought it was pretty good, nice work.

Some lines were amazing and stood out,
the flow was a lil off but overall vivid imagery and a beautiful experience