Losing This Race

Ever have a day,
Where you just wanna lose control?
A day you wanna let it go?
Give up such patrol?

Nothing's worth it anymore,
Or nothing ever was.
Everything is painful now,
It hurts you just because.

Everybody seems to know,
The things you try to hide.
Maybe best to let it out,
Stop keeping it inside.

Simply tell them what you feel,
Nothings yours to lose.
It's better just to spit it out,
Instead to stand accused.

Quit making it so difficult.
Don't make it so damn hard.
The pain will keep on slicing you,
With your broken heart.

You ever wanna cry and scream,
Or ever wanna die?
Shouting it's not worth it,
You don't want to live a lie.

You wanna leap from every roof,
Or jump in front of cars?
Take a steak knife to your wrist?
And tear yourself apart?

You want it to be over with.
You want it to be done.
Don't want to worry anymore,
You want to turn and run.

You wish you could stop crying,
And wish you could be calm.
Pretending it will be okay,
But knowing that it's wrong.

Heartbreak's the new regular,
Happiness is rare.
My face if painted with a smile,
It's not like someone cares.

I'm sick of sitting here,
Pretending everything's alright.
Acting like I'm fine,
Requires all my final might.

Don't know how much longer,
I can hold this mask in place.
I'm falling so damn far behind,
I'm losing my own race.

Pace is slowing, grip is lost,
I want to let it go.
I have a knife in my left hand.
No one will ever know....