Bleeding Lyrics

'by sharing something no others knew.'
`This threw me off.. it needs to say.. 'by sharing something no one else knew' -- It is a bit longer; but no others interrupts the flow.

A easy simple write. Some lines really sounded like you -- like the one about an artistic soul. A good write, a simple rhyme.. the only thing I didnt really like was soul or heart, I dont know why but I'm starting to really dislike those words. Anyways, nice work.

Lyrics bleed within my spirit;
all are mute, wish you could hear it.
Feel my veins, read them like braille,
follow them to music's trail.

*I really love how you started this. You always have the best rhyming poems :). Oe thing I would change in this stanza is the last line. I'd change it to "follow them down the music's trail" that seems to flow better to me. But other than that great start.*

Upon my shoulder is a note,
a note for you, one that I wrote.
Within my heart; a chorus found,
against my breast you'll hear its sound.

*Aww I like this part. I like how you worded it and showed the placement of each part of the song.*

A melody pure and simplistic
is within this soul they call artistic
and when these lips mouth out a sound
we'll be the only ones around,

*This was my favorite stanza! You used some really created lines here. This is turning out to be a great poem.*

making it special, just for you,
by sharing something no others knew.
When this music reaches a halt
it will return to my soul, my vault.

*I would change the last line to "it will return to my soul, my secret vault" tha seems more complete to me. I really enjoyed this Jen and I'm glad you asked me to read it. You spoke of this song so beautifully. Great work twin :) Nik*