Ambivalence

As a human I've waged war to sustain my freedom
I've stood upon two edges, fallen down them in unison
yet the same freedom I feel is the freedom I fear
it's brought about two voices, which whisper in my ear

Both borne of light, yet both consummate to the void
both of whom I loved, yet with both of them I toyed
fallacious happiness misbegotten by sadis(D)ick self-pleasures
in utter seriousness, I was the pirate and you my treasure

Out of the light, and into the dark
Growing dimmer and dimmer still
Like embers of the ending day will
Like the sun setting over the distant hill
As I forlornly watch from my window sill

A love once so beautiful has died and decayed
for far more than edges, have split up and frayed
My soul you sundered, and slashed apart
my Love you plundered - you stole my heart

Yet I still loved you, oh how I still love you
yet ambivalence reigns supreme, for her I love too
I'm suspended, I'm dragged, I'm torn between
I'm Romeo and his Juliets, Act three: third scene