Dancing lights and wild thoughts

by Kaila   Sep 2, 2009


His mind, like a broken mirror; shattered.
Piece by piece spilled onto the ground.
Along with the love for her in his heart.

Ragged rocks lay beneath his swollen feet.
As dirt covers his broken toenails.
Dust blows lightly, like her hair in the wind.

Streetlights flutter, like butterflies in stomachs.
Dancing in a sock hop above his head.
Like they use to for a quick outburst of laughter.

An ant on his leg climbs steadily for a thrill.
Only to be terminated by his sweaty palm.
Suffocating slowly, like how she claimed to be.

Heavy emotions beat on his fatigued body.
Each hit like a fighter taking control.
Only to be worn down with thoughts of her.

His ponderous eyes begin to close slowly,
as his head crashes into grassblades.
Slowly drifting as dreams of her return.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Second to None

    I agree with the person above me. it was very interesting. and i think that you need to work on your puncuation a little. but other than that it was really good!

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Very interesting write to say the least. I must say that you don't need a period at the end of each line, in fact that takes away from the poem as a whole. Try using commas or semi-colons or dashes and so forth. I must say it wasn't a great write, but it was good - it felt a little rocky here and there for me, maybe it's just me. Overall a good write, keep up the great work.

    Peace, Joe