Glancing Behind

by Lauren   Sep 2, 2009


I'm losing my mind,
How do I find
The pieces to my puzzled life
To bandage them together ridding my strife?

Lonliness is my friend
Yet I keep waiting for someone better to extend
A loving hand,
That will help me make a stand

Against this cruel world
Where love is distorted and curled
Into something similar to hate,
Could this life of hurt be fate?

Everything just seems so wrong,
Life's so short but so long,
Continuing after we're dead,
Such a pathetically exciting life I've led.

When the end arrives
And we glance back at our lives
It's improtant to see
That I was loved for me.

So no more hiding behind a mask,
Or liquid courage from a flask.
It's time to grow up and claim responsibility.
I can't keep living irrationally.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I'm a big fan of inspirational poems and I really liked how you turned it around from being incredibly heartbreaking and depressing at the beginning, to motivational and uplifting at the end.

    "It's time to grow up and claim responsibility.
    I can't keep living irrationally."

    ^^ I'm not quite sure how I feel about the ending, however. It just seems... unfinished? Like you had more to say. It doesn't end like a proper final stanza - and sometimes that's okay, sometimes that works, but here it just seems to me that something is missing.

    Also, sometimes it seems like you're trying too hard to rhyme. Although everything makes sense, I can't help but think some of the rhymes sound forced. Don't worry, I have this problem on a lot of my poems, too - I imagine many of us do. Keep at it, it's promising work.

    Thank you for the read.