Trapped in the past

by cataclysmicSoul   Sep 3, 2009


I tried to understand the meaning of my existence,
Tried to name all the good times with persistence,
I always tried to give it my best,
Followed my dreams and never did I rest,
I tried to see everything in the light,
Even if life became dim I still perceived it as bright,
I tried to only keep good memories,
Banished all kind of enemies,

However, the wounds from the past break free,
And force me to my knee,
They steal my breath,
Making me lose faith,
They spell out all my fears,
My room turns into an ocean of black tears,
They whisper a silent lullaby,
And my soul replies with soundless cries,
Now I can even taste,
The disturbing flavor of the alcohol that I from my mind erased,
Everything turns dark,
The fierce footsteps are blocked by the pondering of my heart,
Please let him have mercy I pray,
And with a punch on my face I have to repay,
Punched, slapped, battered by the fist,
The blood trickles down my lips,
Filled with filthy thoughts he is now grinning,
Of course god will not reply, because again I am sinning

Dragged back into this black hole after I came so far,
Now I am yet again fighting in a losing war,
Somebody please reach out a hand,
At this no man's land...

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by SolemnWish

    That was an amazing poem. I especially loved that amount of emotion emanating from my screen. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by SolemnWish

    That was an amazing poem. I especially loved that amount of emotion emanating from my screen. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Em

    Such an emotional yet powerful poem, 5/5. Em

  • 15 years ago

    by Kuro

    I really liked this poem. i don't know if you read my post in the contest topic, but i feel like there was several things i could relate to on this. i loved your word choice and the imagery. i just to let you know that sometimes i fell the exact same way. you really did a good job on this. you should write more like it and let me know. thanks for sharing
    ~Ben

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about this poem. Some aspects of it I really liked;
    For example:

    "The disturbing flavor of the alcohol that I from my mind erased..."
    "The fierce footsteps are blocked by the pondering of my heart..."
    "Dragged back into this black hole after I came so far..."

    ^^ These lines are particular really caught my attention. The first line because it's creates a sense of familiarity; at least for myself. Sometimes during our weakest and saddest moments, we turn to alcohol to ease the pain and erase the memories which are hurting us. We later come to realise, however, that this is not a solution, thus the alcohol has turned and is now hurting us.

    The second line I just really enjoyed; it creates the impression that the narrator's heart is still strong, although maybe broken and damaged.

    The third line evokes such a strong sense of sympathy from the reader. It's like when you're so close to achieving something and then out of nowhere it's snatched from you; devastating you. It was very easy to relate to.

    Parts of the poem which I didn't like so much were:

    The rhyming. Sometimes, in my opinion, it seemed forced. Try not to think about what you're writing, try to not force it to rhyme and just go with the flow and see what you end up with.

    Far too many commas! Haha, this is probably just me being picky, but I look at your poem and see commas everywhere. I don't always think they're needed.

    Overall, an enjoyable read. :)

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