Aw Katie....this is a bloody nightmare....I hope some day soon a terrible desease will cause his d**k to drop offf:/

Hang on in there, kiddo...there is such a thing as karma and I believe bastard like that die a slow and horrible death.

Good that you wrote it down, you can write really well.

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Good poem. alot of detail. and im sorry.
5/5

My broken wings hang limply from my side
Fresh tears fall to replace the ones that dried
Drowning in bruises as I struggle to breathe
You kick my stomach and watch me heave

** Nice opening stanza. The first line grabbed my attention well. I did not like the "DROWNING IN BRUISES" line too much though. DROWNING is normally associated to water, blood, tears, guilt; all liquid or emotional items. A bruise is a physical mark thought, and I did not like the imagery there. To me, it was like saying DROWNING IN A COMPUTER or DROWNING IN HAIR. I know the comparison is silly, but it gets my point across.

I scream as the blood forces its way through
Crawling on my elbows to get away from you
My head falls to the side as you create a bloody mess
Raising my tiny fists as you continue to tear my dress

** Another good stanza. The imagery is really starting to set the scene on a horrific event unfolding. I love the use of POWER WORDS like FORCES and CRAWLING and FISTS. They add a ton of meaning to the lines they are written in.

Desperately, I make my way to the unhinged door
Watching my insides spill out as I'm dragged across the floor
Pulled back by my hair and pinned to the ground
Hands over my mouth so I can't make a sound

** I can feel the poem starting to climax here; its really spooky. Again, the imagery is strong and the flow is great.

The cries of an angel girl trying to break free
Cries turn to whimpers as you pound mercilessly
Laying in the silence as the beating is done
Closing my eyes in relief as I realize that I've won

** The opening line here is too "over written". This is the first line in the poem that I though was written to be included in the poem instead of being written in the scene. The "ANGEL GIRL" was too descriptive for me and did not flow well or seem to fit with the rest of the lines. It seems that you forced too much description here instead of describing the scene like in the rest of the poem.

** I like the second line as well, but thought you could edit it some. Instead of saying "Cried turn to whimpers" you could be more descriptive and say that the cries dwindle into whimpers, or the cries soften into thoughts. Like a musical piece has a decrescendo to transition from LOUD to (soft), a better adjective could be used to set the mood of the line for the reader.

** I am also a little confused by this stanza. Reading it several times through, I thought that you turned the scene around and conquered over the other person, but then the next stanza is back to them having the upper hand. You probably need to clarify what is actually happening. "AS I REALIZE THAT I HAVE WON" made me think you overpowered them, but the next line contradicts that thought. Also, just another thought, WHAT insides are spilled across the ground from the previous stanza? That made me think that you were stabbed and your guts were hanging out.

Rising to my knees as I hear the awful sound
The belt hitting the floor as your pants hit the ground
My eyes wide with fear as I feel my racing heart
You come to stand in front of me as I slowly fall apart

On my knees before you as you take my head
Trembling violently as I'm forcefully fed
Swallowing your seed as the tears slip down my cheek
I open my mouth and force myself to speak

I beg you to stop as you bring out the knife
Whispering in my ear that if fight I'll lose my life
Lying still beneath you as you start to play
I close my eyes and begin to drift away

It doesn't hurt when you rip and tear
You bruise and squeeze and take your share
Wishing I was brave and strong
So I didn't have to play along

** The three previous stanza were great! Intense and powerful without giving too much detail as to offend the reader. This last stanza was really off-flow though. The lines seemed really short and non-descriptive compared the all the other lines. For example, most (if not all) your other lines have over ten syllables in them, but the last stanza has really short lines. It seemed out of place and truncated. I would suggest adding some more words or combining some of the lines.

You leave me alone when you've had your fill
I curl in a ball and try my best to lie still
Nightmares plague me in the dark
You've left your everlasting mark

** Again, the first two lines are ten + in the syllable count, where the last two lines seem truncated and off flow.

When I wake with a start, I wish I was dead
Now I know for certain it wasn't in my head
I try to move my wrists and wonder about the awful pains
I see you standing over me before I'm dragged by my chains

** This was such a wonderful poem (from a poetic point of view) yet the ending stanza seemed a little weak. The "WITH A START" did not fit with the rest of the stanza and clouded the imagery. I can tell that you had trouble closing the poem out, but the last stanza was very weak compared to the rest.

** I would suggest adding some type of closure to the scene. The way it ends now, you will remain a victim for the rest of your life, but by altering the end of the poem, you can try to put some of the past behind you. I had added a stanza that you have permission to either use or the base your ending off of. I think it added a great "I WILL SURVIVE" statement at the end of a horror movie. If you allow your life to be altered to one of sorrow and dismay, then your poem will as well. If you use a "IT HAPPENED, BUT I WILL MOVE PAST IT" thought at the end, then maybe you can actually add closure to your poem and your life.

"A night of terror yet my will remains strong
Horrific actions so selfish and wrong
But my soul lives on and grows more intense everyday
Knowing in my heart that some day I will make you pay."

** I enjoyed reading your poem and hope you fill the will to keep writing.

** Best wishes.

Omg! Such an emotional Poem, it made my heart sink and it made me cry! A very powerful poem about pain and suffering in one of the most brutal ways. Nightmares do end... Just open your eyes.
Your a fantastic writer 5/5

Omg i was shocked while readin this.... i could tell you went through alot just by writin this but went through so much more when it actually happened... a real sad story well written into a poem 5/5

Its a good poem, not really liking the subject of it but thats just me. I can really tell you spent a lot of time writing it and you had a hard time with it since it haunts you everyday. The only feedback I have for you if the title, it may just be me but try thinking of something more creative. I have a few i would like to share on it. Its up to you if you like them or not.

(Fallen Angel, Crimson Death, Nightmare in hell, and Soul less) just a couple I thought on the top of my head.

My writing style is different than yours so don't take this message the wrong way :)

I am srry about what happened that day, hope you feel better soon

I don't like the poem subject but I realise your pain just by the opening stanza. I can understand how hard life may feel for you after thsi but not everybody is like this. It's horrible you had to go through this. I liked the fow and style of the poem though. 5/5. Em x

Very vivid....msde me cringe....but oh so beautifully written...great job....a poem like this comes from real life inspiration...im sorry...take care.

Omg. I honestly hope someone rips this guys d**k of and feeds him his own sh*t. What a sick a**h0le. I totally get what your going through tho hun, with the nightmares etc. And i hope they stop cos i know how painful re-living it is. But its an amazing write, you have talent. This was really great. keep it up, 5/5 xoxo