Your body begins to sink into hell's eternal hole

*This was my favorite line. I really loved the way you wrote this poem. The two stanzas is a very creative idea. I also like that you used periodic syntax. This was a well written poem and I enjoyed reading it. Welcome to the site :) I hope you enjoy yourself here. Nik*

Beautiful, really intense and expressive, such depth :) The whole thing flowed very well, from one to the next, a steady pace and great rhythm. I really enjoyed every sentence, each worked well with the last, with just a few lines so much was said.

These are some strong emotions you have wrote here. I think you did a great job for your first poem, although short it held the emotional aspect that I always like to see in poetry. Keep it up, & welcome to the site.. you will love it. :]

Very well written I thought this expressed the pain of lost love very well. 5/5 keep up the good writing ^ _ ^

~xcoryx~

I agree, great job for your first poem on the site :)

Good job on keeping a constant rhythm

Please Please write the continuation of this poem. I loved the spacing between the line give give off a speech effect.

Wow,i almost started crying. ive been feeling like this a little bit lately. 5/5