Hey, I felt Bella's pain in New Moon just as you have...it hurts so much doesn't it? To try to make your life possible without the one you love and have become addicted to. Only I don't have a Jacob, and it's been three years now....but I've remade my life somehow, and found a way to live without him.
I know this is sort of a deja-vy, but the faster you let him go, the faster you will heal your wounds. It took me a year though, but you have to make it through somehow. :)
AND DON'T EVER SAY YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE. IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMEONE, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S NOOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU AND YOU SHOULD WAIT FOR SOMEONE BETTER TO COME AROUND WHO WILL DESERVE YOUR LOVE.