As I walk up the long winding hill I wipe away the daily tears, I spot the dark building where I kno my day must start, reaching for my iPod I turn the lyrics from our favorite song, longingly I stare at that glass door and wonder why I am still here, my trembling hand reaches for the bitter frosted handle and a shiver races down my spine, I then take a deep breath and walk through those painted glass doors, I can already hear the piercing sound of the call lights buzzing from down the hall, my heart sinks as I think of how my day is going to be, continuing to make it down the outdated orange and yellow hall, I start to fake the everyday smile, I repeat to myself in my head, everything will be okay, you are happy, you don't need this, just smile and go on. But somehow I am not truely convinced after repeating this almost daily, I get closer to the brick like time clock and the fake smile continues Good morning i say with that cheery tone, all along thinking about how it really wasn't a good morning, in fact it was a terrible morning like every other in witch I cried myself the whole way there and dreaded walking through the doors only to remember that he would soon be walking through those same doors and I would have to see him all day, and act as if nothing ever happened, i then take hold of my time card and sigh over the lack of hours I have and think of the small paycheck that it will be, I punch in the card at 5:43am and again think about the pain that this is causing me, returning the smile to my face I make my way to the break room where I cheerfully greet a group of coworkers, as they say hello I hear the rumble of his old dogde pickup that is filled with memories, and i am then bombarded with a long list of bad news, I take it in and not let it show that I am slowly dieing inside, I reach for that much needed cup of coffee only to find that the pot is empty and I do not have the time to wait around for another, walking out the door I pray my day goes well, and I spot him, with her right by his side, that ratty bleached hair of hers is thrown up in a knot and the clothes shes wearing were once mine, I soon begin to wonder what is running through there minds, are they happy, I can see that they are in love, but what are they truely thinking, i remember what one of my coworkers told me of how I am so far above the both of them and not to let them bother me, but i can't help it, I see how they are and think I must be worse if he is no longer with me, what is wrong with me, my mind then starts racing with a million questions and the pain in my stomache reappears, with her not looking he looks straight at me and gives me the stupid boy look that makes me want to scream in his face, don't look at me that way you know It gets to me, I walk down the hall she goes to her laundry room and he wonders in to look at the maintenance book, all along i see him watching me as I walk away, why is he doing this? What is he thinking? I look around and decide witch room would be best to start out my day, as the day goes on it can only get worse, the yelling and ringing is about to send me over the edge, hours pass and I continue to fake that smile and remember the day will soon be over, only to go home and see them up the street in the home i once shared with them. my heart gets heavy and my body continues to weaken, but no one knows and I will keep it that way everyday. Maybe someday I will truely be happy, but untill then I will put on that fake smile and I will continue to walk through those glass doors day after day to have my heart crushed my mind tortured and my dreams shattered. *{Ashley Elaine}*
