The Darkness In Me.

by Mariah   Sep 25, 2009


The darkness you see
Is the emptiness in me
The lies that you told
Helped the whole truth unfold
The day I found out
That you were to doubt
Was the day that my heart
Would slowly fall apart
9/24/09

-for a.-

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    I'm an honest kind of soul, and as so, I have to say, that though I did like it, it wasn't great. The opening to couplets were great. Brilliantly simple and elegant. If the next six lines were as good, this, in my most humble opinion, would have been a certain 5/5.

    I think, at least the last couplet should've been as strong as the first. The opening and closing stanzas should always be strong.

    Hope I didn't offend you. If I did, I apologise.

    Brad

    P.S. Please comment and vote on all the poems you read.

  • 14 years ago

    by Siham

    I love ur poem Mariah . fantastic job 5/5
    keep it up :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Emily

    You are very talented. I can really relate to this poem. Great job.
    <//3