Stubborn?

I blame myself, every day, for losing you,
It's hard to explain why, but to me it's true.
I Thought we were happy, but you always looked the other way,
I'm sorry i wasted so much time, and never said the words I'm about to say;

"I have loved you since the start, nobody else in the world but you, you make my heart beat slow, but you make it beat faster too, the smile you see, upon my face, only you have that effect, nobody could ever take your place. I'm sorry that i let somebody else, change my mind, but if i had known then, i would have just left them behind. You've always had a impact, on the things i say and do, all i want you to know is i can't stop thinking about you."

But sometimes, i start to wonder, if there's any point in feeling this way,
If you just upped and left, then why do i have to be the one that stays?
I wish i could let go, forget and move on,
But you and i both know, that it would take far too long

Sometimes i just wish you would tell me, that you hate me, or make up some big lie,
Saying you never wanted me, just break my heart and let me cry,
I'd rather go through that pain then never knowing how you feel
And wondering to myself if what we had was ever real

But i know you won't do that you said you'd rather be friends,
But how can I, when my feelings for you never end.
I want you in my life, but i just don't want to feel this way,
Maybe you should stop being stubborn, and say the words you're too afraid to say.

**argh, i don't know, it's a bit muddled and not really good, but its how i feel **