The rhyming came off really strong to me, in some parts it worked perfectly, but in other parts it came off a little...imperfect and rough. Like you were trying too hard.
Over all, the feeling from the poem was beautiful and I enjoyed it. :)

Thansk for your comment. I am not a peom writer by nature. I never cultivate this liking in my entire life till today. However I started doing this for a woman I started to love her so much that I could write...Thansk for your comment