They called me worthless

When you hear someone say that your selfish what does that person really think? do they think that your are a person who thinks nothing but themselves? or is it just said to hurt the person you love the most? For some reason i will never go through peoples mind. I get pushed down. knocked down to my lowest point. but my anger goes to its highest point. it shoots right to the top of the charts. it makes me want to hurt so bad that they will realize what they did. They would be sorry for what they did. But i know that since i was abused when i was little i took that and made it my philosophy. I hurt people when they are mean to me. I know i shouldn't use it like that, however i have it stuck in my head. Its something that stays with you. Thats indelible. But only if i think different can i change that. I have to think positive. No matter what. I hope that one day i can give up that bad thought. But i don't know if i can. I will never know for sure. For now i still feel like i have to hurt people. And thats the way i am.