Sue...Suicide

The smooth taste
of guilt cruises
down my throat
as i kiss his lips

i roam to the sounds
of his and her baby
how sadly sweet irony
flows through the ear

he notices i am
not involved as much
but he doesn't seem to care
he wants his nut like a next meal

as he punishes me
for not sucking him off
by back shotting my back out
i cry

silent tears cascade
they make their way to my heart
and i don't know if its the kush
but i swear i feel the salt melt into my skin

he questions me
after he's done dumping on me
why was i crying?
i tell him it felt so good

i lie
i cry harder as i walk home
no one is inside
i see them there but no one is home

i am not seen
as i walk into my bedroom
the sound of pain is muffled
by the slam of my bedroom door

i find my pen and diary
i see my lock is off
funny, i hadn't left it there
bare as my bleak walls

i strip myself of the clothes
that i had soiled with sin
i glance at a cross
i read the clock

9:05 i take my life
a switchblade used to pick my safe
slicked smooth against my wrist
creating a river of blood

9:06...you decide which...

[[[heaven or hell?]]]