To Not Have You

Constricting my screams
This pain is hard to bare
My heart soars for you
Only to crash and burn for it dare

The silence I cannot stand
Yet the sight of you sends me to tears
Difficult to be near you
But being apart is one of my greatest fears

Suppressing my needs for you
Shutting my desires behind a locked door
Crying on my bedroom floor
I cannot risk my heart and sanity more

To reach out, to touch you
Afraid to be pushed away
Terrified of your hatred
Hurt to hold in what I want to say

I love you
Simple as that
But the pain I caused you
It’ll be hard to get back

At least on this paper
I can express the tolls
I love you
Even when it kills my soul