Thinking I Was Free

I'm digging through your heart
Searching through my soul
Looking for the start
Of what was once so whole.

I used to wake from dreams
To go right back to sleep
Until I'd hear you scream
And take one final leap.

I fell into your soul
The vaccuum swallowed me.
Looking into the hole
While thinking I was free.

I miss something nowadays
But who knows what it is.
Loneliness; I'm in a daze
How did we get to this?

But I can't say bad things
Or that we didn't try.
I can't pin point the string
That broke so we could die.

I miss being your friend
And knowing you agree
That a heart could always mend
Thinking I was free.

I wish you'd stayed
After you broke my heart
To see what you did
And then not feel so smart.

Now who knows who loves me?
Who knows who really cares?
Who knows whose playing with me
And unwilling to share?

Who knows if its a nightmare
To feel a lonely traveler
Through times that seem unfair
When I do feel so scared.

I love somebody truly
Unwilling to share.
And my heart newly
Leads me into despair.