Defeated in Darkness

You have the talent in choosing for a title but the whole poem is somewhat lacking for more words to really express the meaning.., you should make all your poems longer because i was having hard time thinking about the conclusions.

by the way, the words are good, it just needs some additions... try to seek more stories so you will have some ideas :)

:D nice!! :D

"A breath of lifeless blood,
Sprayed unto the vast sky,
My hands soaked in its dark shade,
As my lustful blade peirces into your hallow chest."

A grabbing opening, the descriptions were haunting and expressed well.

"Have i would savour the thirst for more blood,"

Capitalize your "i" and I did not really favor the way this was worded, but that is my personal view. Maybe change to this:

"If I could I would savour the thirst for more blood,"

Or something to that extent.

"Eyes burn, I hear voices screaming for redemption.
We all know you can't save your damned life."

This was good, it set the mood and scene perfectly for the reader.

"So let alone be succumbed by the jaws of endless darkness."

I felt like you could have elaborated more, I would have loved to read more of this but this ending was suitable, I liked the usage of "jaws".

Take care and God bless!

~MaryAnne