How long will it take?

And how long will it take?
how long till the under-toe stops pulling me under?
till my worst fear becomes the truth,
and i drown in everything i didn't want to become.
i don't want to lose everything all at once.
don't want to lose the intangible feelings that make me fly.
stop lying to yourself kid...
from a world of unrestrained emotions,
i knew exactly what i wanted.
nothing would stop me.
except for a broken heart.
uncontrollably sucked into a black and white world.
slowly beaten and cut till i felt nothing at all.
whats it going to take to make me feel now?
whats it going to take?
why am i so lost?
so scared
you'd never know who i really am...
because i cant even take a guess.
how will i stop being someone i'm not,
when i'm hurting the people i swore i never would.
what do i have to do?
what will i be forced to overcome in order to feel again
to see again.
and when my mind wanders into a world of confusion,
how long will it take? whats it going to take? what do i have to do?
you tell me, because im sick of always learning the hard way.