One less day of my future, one more of my past

I pretty sure I'm one of a kind
True love is something I will never find
I was always open for a hug and a kiss
But I am now a creature no one will miss

I smile only for me and my friends
If I trust ever again it will all depend
I won't let just anybody in anymore
I've bolted the windows, I've closed the door

I miss being whole more that anything
I wonder of tomorrow and what it will bring
There goes one less day of my future
One more day of my past becomes obscure

I sit in a numb ice cold blur
I wish tomorrow was something I could infer
I miss me being open and warm
Everyday I resemble more of a thunderstorm

Its all so blurry when I look ahead
But its all so clear as I am sitting alone in my bed
No one in my future can heal my tragic past
I just want to fall in love with someone who will last