You Might Die Trying

by Kurt   Oct 21, 2009


Frozen deep within that chest
Resides one broken heart
Corrupted and possessed
Your sanity drifts apart

Beginnings require conclusions
What is it you have lost?
Perfection requires delusion
What star signs have you crossed?

Envious feelings pervading the mind
Spoiling nostalgic memories of life
Vision blackens until you are blind
Seeking comfort within the silver knife

Pale ivory skin cuts the night
Scarlet flows outlining the scene
Tears fall on a lugubrious sight
Revealing sorrow typically unseen

Wounds so deep, pain fades away
Death's chill muffles the crying
You can bleed out your dismay
However, you might die trying.

©Kurt Hampton 2009

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Congrats on winning the contest! Great poem, I especially enjoyed the continuous imagery and interesting word choices. "What star signs have you crossed?" <-- This brings to mind Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare. Star-crossed lovers. My favorite word in the entire poem is 'lugubrious,' and you used it correctly! Excellent work. I would add a comma after 'deep' in the first line of the last stanza. Other than that, flawless write (by my standards). Keep writing!

  • 15 years ago

    by Sami Cakes

    Great poem. I really like the fact that I could tell the emotion...I love it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sami Cakes

    Great poem. I really like the fact that I could tell the emotion...I love it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Ahhh....eerily truthful. Very nice rhyming.

  • 15 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this is such a powerful poem. It really hit me... I love the line "Beginnings require conclusions." You should add that to your quotes! Well done ..

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