Comments : You Might Die Trying

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Wow this piece is very good, your chioce of wording was perfectly suited to the style of the poem. All your stanzas flowed into each other very nicely and I would have to say the fourth is my favourite =]
    Again brilliant work

  • 15 years ago

    by The Lady of Shalott

    I liked this a lot. Esp. the imagery and how you personified Death. 5/5

    "Wounds so deep pain fades away
    Death's chill muffles the crying
    You can bleed out your dismay
    However, you might die trying."

  • 15 years ago

    by The Lady of Shalott

    I liked this a lot. Esp. the imagery and how you personified Death. 5/5

    "Wounds so deep pain fades away
    Death's chill muffles the crying
    You can bleed out your dismay
    However, you might die trying."

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    I think I would have called this poem dark not sad as it might lead to dying of sadness.The vivid imagery you paint is wound up in the last stanza giving birth to a good poem 4/5 RAY S

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    This is something I know nothing off....my way of getting rid of emotional pain is running or simply walking..sometimes I do it up to three hours a day..as long as it takes for the storm to die down.

    You wrote this well, good wording and well portayed emotions.

    God bless,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Whats death when you've got nothing left to fight for? When I come to that point in my life I'm going out swinging too haha Good shit 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this is such a powerful poem. It really hit me... I love the line "Beginnings require conclusions." You should add that to your quotes! Well done ..

  • 15 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Ahhh....eerily truthful. Very nice rhyming.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sami Cakes

    Great poem. I really like the fact that I could tell the emotion...I love it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Sami Cakes

    Great poem. I really like the fact that I could tell the emotion...I love it.

  • 15 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Congrats on winning the contest! Great poem, I especially enjoyed the continuous imagery and interesting word choices. "What star signs have you crossed?" <-- This brings to mind Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare. Star-crossed lovers. My favorite word in the entire poem is 'lugubrious,' and you used it correctly! Excellent work. I would add a comma after 'deep' in the first line of the last stanza. Other than that, flawless write (by my standards). Keep writing!