What Have I Become?

by Loveless Dreamer   Oct 22, 2009


What have I become,
I'm nothing but a ghost, I am numb.
Since you left, I've been dead,
nothing but a ghost crying on her bed.
All I want is for you to be here,
to make these feelings disappear.

What have I become,
Im nothing but a waste of life, I am scum.
Since you left, life is meaningless,
nothing left but to confess.
All I want, is to be dead,
I'm saying goodbye,
with the gun to my head.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Solus

    Maybe its not that we change when tragedy strikes, rather it merely shows who we really are and have been under all of our masks.

    This poem is a picture one sees all to often in others and ourselves. The pain becomes a place and your words show this very well.

  • 15 years ago

    by Love Panda

    What have I become,<QUESTION MARK?>

    Since you left, I've been dead,<I HAVE
    INSTEAD OF I'VE>

    nothing but a ghost crying on her bed.<IN INSTEAD OF ON HER BED>

    What have I become,<QUESTION MARK>

    Im nothing but a waste of life, I am scum.<A WASTED LIFE, INSTEAD OF, WASTE OF A LIFE>

    Since you left, life is meaningless,<LIFE HAS BEEN MEANINGLESS, INSTEAD OF, IS MEANINGLESS>

    nothing left but to confess.<NOTHING TRULY LEFT TO CONFESS, INSTEAD?>

    with the gun to my head.<WITH THIS LOADED GUN, INSTEAD?>

    ~Not bad, the style is good but the wording needs tweaking to make it run of the tongue more smoothly. IBE

  • 15 years ago

    by SolemnWish

    Please no Valerie.
    *tear* Not like this.
    I'll do anything please don't do this

  • 15 years ago

    by Em

    Deep, flawless piece. 5/5, Em

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