Numb

Wish I had more meaning behind my glazed stare
I'm not going to lie, there is nothing left there
I am an empty shell of who I used to be
I have become so blinded I can no longer see

I wish I had emotions under all this pain
I have no feelings to loose or gain
I wonder if this is how its like to be dead
As I lay blankly laid across my bed

Deep down I know I want to die
I'm not lying, I don't speak a lie
I'm not searching for attention
My heart has been put on permanent suspention

I don't want to cause anyone any sadness
I don't want anyone to see my madness
I am a privet person with to much pride
I wouldn't tell anyone this I would have rather died

Help is a unfamiliar word to me
I wonder what getting it would be
I wonder if it would change my ways
But for now I'm stuck just counting the days