Wow<<<I loved it. It was 100% full of emotion and voice. As I was reading, it felt as if I was the writer (if that made sense). The first stanza definately caught my attention; but there was one line:

"Screaming images of muted thoughts,"

^^that was by far my favorite. Just something about this poem that really stuck out to me. I've read over 200 poems this morning alone and this one is the best read. Good Job. 5/5

Wow very nice description and teh lead up to the last stanza was a shocker to me. Nice work.

Your poem tells the tale but it construction is poor and its meter is none existent. Guilt for most is hard to live with but it must be controlled would love to hear in a follow on that you realise that the guilt is not yours but your fathers for getting your mother pregnant perhaps and he has probably paid the price a million times for sharing his love for her he must love you that much more as you are his only reminder. 4/5 Ray S

Way of life is never fair it is balance rules fate whatever you want to call it but its not fault or guilt that you should look to great write i enjoyed reading about this experience

This poem was very well written and it flowed really nicely, too. I think you did a really great job on writing it. You expressed yourself very well. 5/5

~Kristina

This is a short poem, that is yearning to be longer.

I like the start of it, and this is apparently a difficult topic for you to express, but that being said, I want you to take this poem deeper.

The writings that we create that are close to our hearts usually feel as if they are lacking something. I believe this is because we as authors are afraid to get hurt by other peoples opinions.

But still I think you should take this event ( whether it's fictional or fact) and own it. Get deeper in it and make it your own.

I hope that helps you in some way.

Remember
"A poet that writes while worried about other peoples thoughts and opinions, is a conformist not a writer."
"You don't have to speak allowed to be heard. "

thanks for the read
>-Spirit->

I thought it was good it was really deep and as myself it would work as a explanation to me but it was good and amazing that you touched on such a personal and unfair subject

Confronting your inner demons can never be an easy task. and it can't be easy being raised by a single parent. it sounds like you miss your mother and spend a lot of time thinking about her. so much so that it is turning into a nightmare.

as a story this is not that scary, but if i put myself in your shoes, i would be frightened out of mind (physically and metaphorically) i somewhat agree with the above commenter. you should add more to it to give it the full feeling you are trying to express. it seems like there is more to the story we are missing.