I Prayed For Life

I was just about to die
And I prayed for Life
to grant me a pardon
from my strife

All these years
I've prayed for death
and my prayers went unanswered
but when I prayed for a breath
It was given
and my soul was restored
but my life remains cursed
and my heart remains torn

Why did He only hear
when I wanted to breathe
Why does my mind
my heart deceive

All I've wanted
for so long is to cease
This unending Life
and find an eternal peace

It perturbs me so
that in my last thought
It was my "life" I saved
and a second chance I bought

Somewhere deep inside
I must want to breathe
But all that I see
Is my desire to leave!

If I could only tap into
that desire to live
maybe in an instant
I could I forgive

I hate myself
for the words I prayed
For my life to go on
for my life to be "saved"...